Humor für Geeks

Bruce Schneier Facts:
Bruce Schneier doesn’t need to talk about security theater, he defines it.
Bruce Schneier accurately predicts the random.
Bruce Schneier doesn’t need to hide data with steganography – data hides from Bruce Schneier.
Bruce Schneier knows who the Anonymous Coward is.
Bruce Schneier can recite pi. Backwards.
Bruce Schneier can securely wipe any hard drive by shaking it like an etch-a-sketch.
When Bruce Schneier observes a quantum particle, it remains in the same state until he has finished observing it.
Bruce Schneier can write a recursive program that proves the Riemann Hypothesis. In Malbolge.
Bruce Schneier can read captchas.
Hashes collide because they’re swerving to avoid Bruce Schneier.
Bruce Schneier is the root of all certificates.
Bruce Schneier intercepts all your internal monologues by a man-in-the-middle attack.
For a woman to be impregnated by Bruce Schneier, she must decrypt his sperm with a 128-bit blowjob.
I once shook Bruce Schneier’s hand at a conference, and now my palm activates RFID card readers.”


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