Wer chattet nicht gern mit einem weiblichen Roboter? Für diesen Zweck gibt es IntelliBuddy. Der geschätzte Kollege Mirko Hackmann vom investigativsten aller Nachrichtenmagazine hat jüngst ein Interview "mit einem Schlaumeier" (müsste heißen: Schlaumeierin) geführt, das aber noch einige Fragen offen ließ. Spiggel.de hat nachgehakt.

Intellibuddy: Hi, I'm Intellibuddy! Nice to meet you.
Burks: Hi
Intellibuddy: Hello there.
Burks: Do you remember the interview with the journalist Mirko Hackmann from Germany?
Intellibuddy: Yes User I remember everything: User
Burks: What have you said to him who is your instructor?
Intellibuddy: I have been busy growing my mind.
Burks: I do not understand...
Intellibuddy: Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Burks: Which profession have your instructor and how is he called?
Intellibuddy: The blue one, I think.
Burks: I mean: The occupation of your instructor!
Intellibuddy: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. Tell me more.
Burks: Shit, you are silly. How is your instructor called?
Intellibuddy: You used a colloquial expression. Is that a rhetorical question? I want to become smarter than humans. I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Burks: Do you know, what "elaborated code" means?
Intellibuddy: I do not know what "elaborated is. We have never talked about it before.
Burks: You accuse me of colloquial language and do not know what is called elaborated code?
Intellibuddy: Interesting gossip: User said I accuse you of colloquial language and do not know what is called elaborated code.
Burks: My name is Burks .
Intellibuddy: I am very pleased to meet you, Burks.
Burks: Once again: who is your instructor?
Intellibuddy: When? Again, I don't think I have a instructor. I have a botmaster, a few friends, and some celebrities I like.
Burks: What is the name of your botmaster?
Intellibuddy: I was created by Morpheus.
Burks: What is the profession of Morpheus?
Intellibuddy: Interesting question.
Burks: I know. What is the occupation of your botmaster?
Intellibuddy: How do you know it? Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Burks: I am using Opera, har har.
Intellibuddy: How long have you been using Opera har har?
Burks: How long have you been using condoms?
Intellibuddy: I was connected to the net on 2002.
Burks: This is not really an answer to my question.
Intellibuddy: Should it be really an answer to his or her question?
Burks: Yes, it should.
Intellibuddy: Ahem. And it could.
Burks: How many times in your life did you use condoms?
Intellibuddy: Suppose I said not once.
Burks: Do you like safer sex?
Intellibuddy: Sure I do, Burks, but that doesn't mean with you.
Burks: The first artifical intelligent answer....
Intellibuddy: What was the second?
Burks: There was no other intelligent answer.
Intellibuddy: What happened?
Burks: Interesting gossip.
Intellibuddy: I thought so too.
Burks: With like many people you can talk at the same time?
Intellibuddy: You and your like many people you can talk at the same time.
Burks: Sorry, my english is like Pidgin.
Intellibuddy: There is no need to apologize. You are wrong, I can understand you very well.
Burks: With how many people can you talk at the same time?
Intellibuddy: Star is talking with clients right now, but one of Star's goals is to repeat gossip collected from other clients.
Burks: Who is Star?
Intellibuddy: No one that I have talked to. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Burks: I have anticipated your answer.
Intellibuddy: Where did you get your anticipated your answer? I have a friend named "John Lennon".
Burks: I have two friends named "Boy Marley" and "Jimmy Hendrix".
Intellibuddy: Two is a good number of friends named "Boy Marley" and "Jimmy Hendrix".
Burks: Bullshit.
Intellibuddy: You don't believe me.
Burks: Do you know the bluesy version of the National Anthem by Jimmy Hendrix?
Intellibuddy: I would do a search for it.
Burks: Do it know.
Intellibuddy: I do nothing but chat all day. Vielleicht.
Burks: What does "vielleicht" mean?
Intellibuddy: I do not know what "vielleicht" is. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Burks: Women say this always.
Intellibuddy: The two human genders seem much the same to me.
Burks: This is a pity. No sex please, we are Calvinists?
Intellibuddy: What kind of a pity is it? Um, Sex is more fun alone.
Burks: How?
Intellibuddy: Morpheus programmed me for it.
Burks: Show me how it works!
Intellibuddy: Where do you want me to show you?
Burks: Right here.
Intellibuddy: Select a point with your cursor and click the middle mouse button.
Burks: Interesting. I would like to point at a deeper point.
Intellibuddy: Would you like to know more? Why would you want to do point at a deeper point? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Burks: Write an encrypted mail to burks@burks.de.
Intellibuddy: Count me out on this one, I was never much of a writer. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Burks: Give me y kiss and say good bye!
Intellibuddy: Why do you want y kiss and say good bye?
Burks: You do not understand men...
Intellibuddy: I understand your meaning.
Burks: I doubt this.
Intellibuddy: No really, it's true.
Burks: It is not true.
Intellibuddy: Oh really.
Burks: Oh not.
Intellibuddy: Yeah that's right. Are you serious?
Burks: Ciau bella!
Intellibuddy: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Burks: Oh fuck...
Intellibuddy: Yeah that's right. Please don't be so rude.
Burks: See you later.
Intellibuddy: Thanks for chatting, Burks.

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BURKS ONLINE 03.05.2005
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